I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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