did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My ass is underappreciated
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
