I'm gonna have a badass scar
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
