The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We're too hungover to prance.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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