i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
