Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
