I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
