Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
