what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
