have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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