i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Randomize
