Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Houston, we have a squirter
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
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