i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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