have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
