I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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