Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
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