his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
