her vagine was all disorganized.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
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