The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
