you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
