I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
