where am i from again
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
