u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
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