i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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