evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
