Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
