the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
