Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize
