It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
