My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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