i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
