This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
