Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
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I think a kid would responsible me up
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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