Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
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I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
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The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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