So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Randomize
