would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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