Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
