I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize