I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
