Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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