Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
you have to choose: penises or morals?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
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