I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
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