hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
