if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
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