So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
