2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Randomize
