I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
