I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
