your thong is hanging out like whoa
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Randomize
