dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize