i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
