just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
