Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
We smell like vodka and hangover
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