**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
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