I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
