R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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