addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
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