Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
