Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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