if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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