Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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