His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
